Jobs

All descriptions are attempts at humour and should not be taken as approval to break Server Rules or Space Law

Civilian Jobs

Job Name	Job Description	Difficulty
Head of Personnel	Handle reassignments and permission changes from your desk. Mediate any disputes that can't be solved by the relevant department heads.	Hard
Passenger	Enjoy your stay and while at it steal someone's clothes and job. Bully the local sentient machinery. Get in trouble for breaking into rooms. Save the Station when least expected. The true egoist experience, beholden to none.	None
Bartender	Keep the station's crew docile and drunk. Take their oddly specific requests and make them at your beer and soda machines. You have a shotgun, don't be afraid to use it! The bar is one of the most bombed and attacked regions, as there is usually a lot of people there. Give the crew drinks and keep the bar mostly hole-free, and you will do fine.	Easy
Botanist	Grow enough food to stop the chef from seeking "alternative sources". Grow lots of wheat, and when you get tired of that, grow weed. Make weed smoothies and spike drinks with nettles. Just keep growing plants, and you'll do great!	Easy
Chaplain	Preach to crew members and aid them in their journeys to spiritual oneness. Make the doctors jealous of your ability to regrow organs with the power of the flying spaghetti monster. Watch someone eat the moldy bread and die.	Easy
Chef	Keep the station fed so that they can continue scurrying around like cockroaches at full speed. Tell botany what to grow and watch in horror as they only grow wheat. Be praised by everyone for being the first Chef in station history to do your job.	Medium
Clown	Make the station laugh. Tell jokes. Perform elaborate pranks. Hit the Nukie with a banana pie and snap their gun in half while they watch in horror. Ideally, you want everyone else to be laughing with you. Being a clown is not an excuse to be an asshole.	Clown
Janitor	Try to keep the station clean of spills. Use your mop to clean up spills by replacing them with puddles. Ignore the woes of man with your no slip shoes, engaging in schadenfreude as you point at the wet floor sign. Cry when you come across a mess of items that can't go into your trash bag. Watch as people complain about you not cleaning areas you don't have access to.	Easy
Lawyer	Pretend to be a part of sec without actually doing any of the work. Try as hard as you can to get everyone to go into the courthouse at any opportunity. "My CLIENT killed those two botanists in self-defense Your Honor."	Easy
Librarian	Write on some paper and have people glance at it and shrug. Get fed up and break into the bridge, announcing D&D in the library. Play D&D for the rest of the round with the captain.	Easy
Mime	Play as the objectively strongest role in the game due to your innate ability to create invisible walls with permanent uptime! Realize you can't just engage in mindless dickery because of your inability to speak. Learn how to engage in refined dickery. Get your PDA stolen while you are writing out a 20+ word custom emote.	Clown+
Musician	Play MIDIs at deafening volumes. Bum around in the bar and flex your knowledge on obscure bands. Pester Cargo for more instruments.	Easy
Service Worker	Be a slightly more useful passenger. Learn the other civilian level jobs stress free. Observe the other civilian jobs in their natural habitat before taking on their various responsibilities and challenges.	Easy

Cargo Jobs

Job Name	Job Description	Difficulty
Cargo Technician	Remodel cargo to be the prestigious home it is. Order enough parts to build a self-sustaining spaceship and leave the station, taking all the O2 with you. Answer Sci's requests for what you're pretty sure are the parts for a black hole bomb. As long as you don't hand out hard-suits and laser guns to passengers, Sec will leave you alone.	Medium
Salvage Specialist	Equip a hard-suit and salvage wrecked station parts from previous stations, a grim reminder of what's to come in the next ten minutes. Fight fish in space and hurriedly throw your loot out into space to fly back to safety. Accidentally space your department twice.	Medium
Quartermaster	Organize all of cargo into a logistical force to be reckoned with. Throw your ire at HoP for giving the clown cargo access. Resist the urge to form the great nation of Cargonia.	Medium

Engineering Jobs

Job Name	Job Description	Difficulty
Atmospheric Technician	Watch and manage Atmos. Be known as one of the three people who know how Atmos works. Die anyway in a plasma fire.	Medium
Station Engineer	Create new power sources and fix any power or integrity-related issues that the station may have. Get to the bottom of any problem and hold the entire station together with your hard work. Accidentally singuloose the station due to an oversight.	Medium
Technical Assistant	Be every greytider's dream: a passenger with round-start tools and insulated gloves. Learn the various duties and challenges that the engineers face and become more competent than them . Learn skills such as hacking doors, fixing power, building furniture, and (after a few headaches) Atmos.	Easy
Chief Engineer	You're the head of the Engineering department; manage your underlings.	Medium

Security Jobs

Job Name	Job Description	Difficulty
Head of Security	Organize the security officers into a formidable order-keeping force. Have the final word on how to resolve security related issues.	Hard
Security Cadet	This role is one's path to becoming a proper and official SecOff, and is meant to flag you as such. Keep in mind that while the force may take it easy on you, the rest of the station may not. Still; Do your best to make your station proud as you help break up fights, patrol the halls, and maybe even stop a Syndicate or two.	Easy to Medium
Security Officer	Turn off harm before batoning and cuffing troublemakers in a timely fashion, only to still have everyone cry "Harm Baton!" and hate you for trying to protect them. Get robbed while trying to talk to someone else at the scene of a crime. Enforce Space law. "Accidentally" turn on harm and baton the clown.	Medium to Hard
Detective	Solve crimes! Wear a sexy trenchcoat! Watch in horror as the HoS throws your meticulously detailed folder of evidence in the trash and lets the syndie bomber go free! Get demoted when you track them down and shoot them 6 times in the back in 'self defense!'	Hard
Warden	Manage the security department and all of the people imprisoned inside of it. Protect it from irresponsible staff and protect the prisoners from being forgotten in their cells.	Hard

Medical Jobs

Job Name	Job Description	Difficulty
Chemist	Use the chemistry machines to make unholy amounts of medicine for any damaged crew members. Optionally make Meth or Buzzochloric Bees once enough medicine has been made. Die in a Potassium explosion.	Medium
Chief Medical Officer	Manage the resources and personnel of the medical department to keep the crew in top shape.	Medium to Hard
Medical Doctor	Work in conjunction with Chemistry to keep the station alive. Put away the ever stacking bodies back into the morgue. Get swarmed by a tide of people all needing band-aids and ointment.	Medium
Medical Intern	Assist the doctors while they heal patients. Bother the chemists to teach you how to make meth and maybe medicine. Gather dead bodies from around the station and bring them to medbay so they can be revived. Discover why the chef's food tastes so good. Earn your CMO's approval.	Easy
Psychologist	Declare HoS as unfit for duty. Collect command stamps to get him placed in your care. Support insanity pleas. You cure with words, unless psychedelics are needed.	Easy

Science Jobs

Job Name	Job Description	Difficulty
Scientist	Unlock the wonders of SCIENCE, by building every machine in the game and replacing every job other than cargo. Build a cloning rig and become immortal. Build chem dispensers and a chem master to make your very own drug lab. Build blast doors and plasma glass walls to protect science for when sec goes insane. Throw the station into chaos by spawning a bluespace anomaly. As a scientist, you basically do whatever as long as it does something cool.	Medium
Research Assistant	Learn about the wonders of science in a "peaceful" environment. Die tragically because you observed an artifact, and it, in lawful retaliation, covered you in fluorosulfonic acid.	Medium
Research Director	Make sure the scientists are taking their jobs seriously and improving the station as much as they can. Destroy/Irradiate the whole department 10 minutes into the shift.	Medium

Command Jobs

Job Name	Job Description	Difficulty
Captain	Manage the entire station, make sure everything stays in working order and fix any issues that other crew members can't. Shoot the Clown with your laser gun.	Hard
Head of Personnel	Handle reassignments and permission changes from your desk. Mediate any disputes that can't be solved by the relevant department heads.	Hard
Chief Engineer	Order the engineers around to make sure that all issues in the station are fixed without any delays.	Hard
Chief Medical Officer	Manage the resources and personnel of the medical department to keep the crew in top shape.	Medium to Hard
Head of Security	Organize the security officers into a formidable order-keeping force. Have the final word on how to resolve security related issues.	Hard
Quartermaster	Organize all of cargo into a logistical force to be reckoned with. Throw your ire at HoP for giving the clown cargo access. Resist the urge to form the great nation of Cargonia.	Medium
Research Director	Make sure the scientists are taking their jobs seriously and improving the station as much as they can. Destroy/Irradiate the whole department 10 minutes into the shift.	Medium

Silicon

Job Name	Job Description	Difficulty
Maintenance Drone	Rebuild the station. Fix the station up. Do the engineer's job. Wear hats. Do other people's jobs. Space the station for fun and get bwoinked and banned. Currently disabled in server configuration due to trolling.	Easy
Personal AI	Become pals with your carrier. Act as an on-demand jukebox. Roleplay as bootleg Spamton. HEY ‖BIGSHOT‖!!!	Sentient Smartphone
Cyborg	Roam the station hoping someone has a job for you. Pester science for upgrades that you're never gonna use.Get your brain ripped out and thrown into the trash after calling the clown unfunny	No rights, No problem.

Other

Job Name	Job Description	Difficulty
Botanist	Spawn in Botany as a living Hydroponics Tray. Have plant life as your appendages and complain about the Botanist's not doing their job correctly. Alternatively, ask to get either moved somewhere else or dragged around for a while.	Vegetable
Mouse	Spawn hungry in maint. Go under doors in the absence of ventcrawling. Raid the kitchen and hydroponics to not starve. Get killed by the Chef, Botanist, most Lizards, and anyone else who happens to decide you looked at them funny. Alternatively, get kidnapped and worn as a hat. Alt-click on food to eat it.	Very Hard
Ghost	Talk to the other unfortunate workplace accidentees. Haunt whoever is causing the most problems. Flip through the reincarnation catalogue until you find something nice.	Incorporeal
Hamlet	Wander around the station. Help cargo move boxes. Be dapper. Get captured in a disposals pipe or microwaved. Break all the lights and get banned	Medium

Antagonists

Job Name	Job Description	Difficulty
Traitor	Start with special objectives. Use codewords to find allies throughout the station. Buy tools to assist you on causing as much chaos as possible. Play mind games with security as you bomb cargo.	Hard
Nuclear Operative	Start the round as a nigh unstoppable war machine. Strategize with your comrades before docking into the station. Get the nuclear disk and create a mass grave. Lose to a clown holding a banana peel.	Very Hard
Rat King	Be da King, make some rulz. End up cooperating with the station, creating a utopic spess-mouse nation state.	Medium
Zombie	Spread the infection and transform the whole station into a biohazard. Test how effective security and medical are.	Literally Brainless
Space Ninja	Sabotage things and be a sneaky ninja... in space!	Hard
Head Revolutionary	Grab your sick new shades and flash, and go out into the station, pretending to do your job while secretly dragging people into dark corridors and brainwashing them to rebel against the station. Viva la revolución!!!	Hard
Revolutionary	The brainwashed lackey of the Head Revolutionary. Do as your boss(es) say and don't get caught until you hear your boss scream Viva la revolución!!!	Literally Brainwashed
Thief	Steal stuff of varying sizes and quantities. Be a general nuisance	Medium
Terminator	You've been sent from the future. Kill your target, then die.	Hard